The last thing I remember, is knowing there was nothing I should say, not now, maybe never. No matter how much I wanted to tear his world apart and shake him out of his belief that apathy is simply a’ good enough’ word for ‘denial of materialism”, I knew that he was not ready to listen. Like seeing someone you love on a rollercoaster headed for a swamp of misery - and you see them forgetting what it was like when things were better. Is it me I’m trying to save - from the agony of watching someone I love go “down”? Is it a faltering of faith that I’m experiencing? Sure, I should be able to trust and exercise faith that God is working in this person’s life - as God has in my own life. This person - with our prayers - will awaken and become fully emboldened by the infilling of God’s spirit - to say, do, and become what is necessary to restore dignity, health and well-being to his life. God help this be so.

I wanted to shake him awake or scream “You fool! Do you not see that you are letting your life pass away without even stepping into the stream? Do you see you are letting opportunities pass you by because you don’t want to experience failure? What on earth do you think will happen if you allow yourself to try something - and fail?”

I want to ask, “Can you imagine what you will do after you fail? Can you envision yourself getting up from defeat? Will you be laughing, giggling, grateful and silly with gladness that at least you got into the game; played hard and learned alot?” Or do you avoid effort toward goals - indeed - do you avoid goals - so you won’t have to feel - defeat?”

Defeat is simply another lesson in life. No need to be afraid of it. Embrace it. Get lots of defeat early and often. And keep the reality alive that yesterday is education, today is the playing field, tomorrow is inextricably linked to today. You are making tomorrow with your daily decisions. Avoiding opportunities will set you up for failure. Defeat visits the unprepared, the lonely, the self-absorbed. Let go and let flow the feelings that release your love, sadness, fears and failures. You owe it to yourself to care - when no one else knows how.

Some wise person once said, “The only failure is the failure to rise from defeat.”